Define Your Ideal Woman Before You Meet Her

At some point on your journey through life I’m assuming that you will eventually want to get married and raise a family. But before you embark on finding your future wife, I highly suggest you spend time defining who she is, what she’s like, and how she acts.

Much like most things in life, if you don’t know what you’re looking for you’ll never find it. If you are stumbling through life with no idea what you want in a woman, and you are using the shallow molds that society has given us, you will have a very difficult time finding someone that you can truly connect with.

Spending time seriously thinking about the traits you value most in your future wife will allow you to quickly see who isn’t going to be a good fit for you in the long term, which could potentially save you, and a girl that you’re dating, a lot of time and heartache.

But maybe you’re thinking:

“Oh Anthony, I’m not trying to find my wife right now, I’m just trying to enjoy life” or something.

Well don’t worry because it is going to take you plenty of time to figure out what really matters most, and you’ll probably be wrong initially. However, as time goes on you’ll refine your list, you’ll spend more time thinking about it and articulating it, and you’ll hone in on what is true.

Also, no one wants to get in a relationship with someone that is completely wrong for them anyways, so even if you aren’t looking to get married right now this will still be a helpful exercise so you can avoid some painful situations.

Now your next objection maybe be:

“Well I’ll figure out what I want as I date, and I’ll learn from experience”

I will say that experience is important, but you still have to take the time to think about the things you value most and what you learned from those experiences about what you value. I know plenty of guys who have dated tons of girls but still have no idea what they want in their future wife, or they think they know, but the idea they have in their head is either something unrealistic or completely impossible.

The reason you can’t just figure it out is because you don’t really know what you value most until you spend time thinking about it. If you haven’t identified what you value it doesn’t mean that you don’t have those values, your subconscious will still hold those values, and when those values are challenged, broken, or acted against you will have some pretty serious negative emotions that will begin to build up over time, but you will have no idea why.

Maybe you tell yourself that the emotions are silly and you should ignore them, but as we have talked about before, ignoring these signs doesn’t lead to anywhere good. On the other side, if you know what is important to you, and what you really value, then you will be able to understand why you are feeling the negative emotions when they come up, and then they can be dealt with in a healthy way.

Become the man that would attract her

This exercise isn’t just about defining what your ideal woman is like and then kicking back and waiting for her to come to you, because more than likely the woman you will have described will be way out of your league. And that’s okay, because now that you know what your ideal woman is like, you can begin striving to be the type of man that would attract her.

This part is extremely powerful because it seems like a lot of single guys go through their day to day lives expecting that the perfect woman will fall into their laps. Just like all other good things in life, you are going to have to put in the work, but you can’t just put in any work you have to put in the right work.

If you never do anything outdoors, because of whatever reason, but you want a girl that is passionate about the outdoors you aren’t putting yourself in the position to meet that kind of girl. You certainly aren’t going to be attracting that kind of girl because she will probably wants to find someone who loves the outdoors too.

Luckily, now that you know what you want (because you will have spent time thinking about it), you have a map as to what you have to become in order to attract that kind of woman.

If you want a girl that is healthy and fit then odds are she is going to want the same out of her husband, so its time to hit the gym. If you want a girl that is adventurous and is a risk taker then you should start going on adventures and taking risks. If you want someone who is a devout Christian then its time to start building your relationship with God.

The more you work at developing these attractive traits, the more people will see the traits in you over time. This can act almost as a preliminary filter because only the girls that find those things attractive will want to engage with you in the first place.

Now it is time to go out and act, define your ideal woman and what you value most in her, then begin striving to be the man that would attract her. Good luck.