How to Transition to Life on Your Own

This is for all of you Crusaders out there who are still living at home with your parents.

The period of your life where you are living at home is different than any other and has its benefits. 

For one, when you are at home you don’t have to worry about making rent, paying bills, and managing the household because your parents do that for you. Your life is a lot more structured between school, sports, and extra curriculars you likely don’t have a ton of extra time in the day.

However, when you move out to live on your own you will suddenly have significantly more free time and control over your schedule, and if you aren’t careful the transition can be very difficult. So, what Isaiah and I wanted to talk about today was how you can make that transition as smooth as possible. 

1 Corinthians 13:11 states “When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things.”

When you were a child you were fully dependent on your parents both physically and emotionally. But as you get older you need to start developing your independence so that when it comes time to leave the nest, you will know how to take care of yourself and how to operate as a responsible adult. 

Before we start talking about independence specifically let’s look at how you need to change your mindset in general. 

Cultivating the mindset of a man.

The first thing to do is break out of your childlike mindset. You need to learn how to try and solve the issues you would normally bring to your parents to fix. I say “try and solve” because you won’t always have the answers, and your parents’ input will still be immensely helpful; however, the act of trying to solve your issues first will allow you to grow and learn more from the situation. 

It is also important to begin finding your own identity, and the best way to do that is to try new things. This will allow you to see what you do and don’t like and as a result you will continually learn and grow. Side note: drugs, sex, and stupidly dangerous activities are not included in this. 

Becoming Independent

There are two main ways to become more independence and they are practicing your independence and growing your confidence. 

Growing your confidence in your abilities, and yourself, is important because it well help you to have the confidence to practice independence. Confidence in yourself will also be necessary to overcoming the many obstacles life will throw at you. 

So, what are some ways you can practice independence and grow your self-confidence? Sports and jobs are the best ways to build independence and grow your confidence. They will teach you many life lessons and skills that will be invaluable in your transition of going out into the world on your own. 

But there are other smaller ways you can practice independence like camping for examples. As we talked about in Podcast Episode 3 “Man in Nature”, having to go without many of the luxuries that we take for granted in our daily life can teach us a lot about ourselves. The more we learn about ourselves the better we will know how to react to the uncertainties and obstacles life throws at us.

Leaving on good terms

It is vital that you leave home on good terms. The reason is because your parents will always be a part of your life and it’s a relationship that will help you as you get older and continue to grow. Plus, you’ll be happier as a result of having a good relationship with them and being able to share problems with them.

The best way to make sure the relationship is good is to seek to understand your parents, as we talked about in Episode 6 “Understanding your Parents”. During the transition period they are going to act weird, embarrassing, or clingy, but it’s because they love you and they are sad that they are losing you, and they want to make the most of the time they have left. 

At the same time, you’re probably excited so this behavior can come off extra annoying. But the best way to combat this kind of thinking is by keeping their perspective in mind. 

On the other hand, leaving home may be something that you’re stressed about and don’t really want to do. But it’s important that you leave, you have to grow up and learn to take care of yourself. Know that you can’t live with your parents forever, and the sooner you make the transition the easier it will be. 

Responsibility once you leave

Now, once you have left home you have to be careful. As I said before you will have significantly more freedom and free time. It will be easy to go off the deep end and do a bunch of stupid stuff and waste away all of your time. This is a super fun stage of life but you have to learn how to be responsible and you have to learn fast. 

However, if you already practiced being responsible and independent while you were living with your parents, and you took the lessons they taught you to heart, then you will have a much easier, and much more successful transition. And you will be way ahead of other people your age when it comes to being responsible and making the most of your time. 

Reach out to Isaiah and I on Instagram @crusadetomanhood or leave a comment below!

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