Lies of Omission

We’ve all done it. We are talking with someone, trying to get them to see our side of things, and we say a statement that is true, but we purposefully leave out some crucial details. In doing so we imply something to be true, and we try to steer the other persons opinion in a specific direction. The harsh truth is that this is no better than directly lying.  

By withholding information that you know to be relevant you are committing a sin of omission. James 4:17 states “therefore, to one who knows the right thing to do and does not do it, to him it is sin.” This statement doesn’t apply only to actions, it also applies to how we talk to people.

It doesn’t matter if we think we are right, and by omitting something we are guiding them on the correct path. By not painting the full picture you rob the person of being able to come to a conclusion for themselves.

We are all different, and we all deserve the opportunity to form our own opinion based on the most relevant information possible.

If the moral argument of why people should be able to form their own opinions isn’t good enough for you to stop this sin of omission, consider the negative impacts it can have on your life.

By withholding information we know to be relevant or important from someone, we have acted in a way that decreases our integrity. When, and I truly mean when, the other person finds out the information you withheld, and especially if they find out that you knew it all along, the trust that person felt with you will decrease.

Sure, you could say that you were technically telling the truth all along, but that may actually make you look worse because now the person will see you as manipulative. You will have damaged that relationship, and because they now associate their new distrust for you, with the stance you tried to get them to believe, they are even more likely to adopt the opposite viewpoint.

I know its difficult to end a habit of lies of omission. For a large period of my life I actually viewed being able to effectively use lies of omission to get what I wanted to be a positive trait. However, this bad habit caught up with me a couple of times and led to damaged relationships.

Since then I have been working to try and end this habit but I still find myself wanting to use this tactic to get people to see things my way. I’ve found that the best way for me to stop this habit has been to stop before any interaction where I know I may be tempted, and visualize myself acting with integrity, and giving the person all the information I possibly can. Even if it makes me, or my position, look bad.

I’ve found that the more I’ve worked on this habit, the more transparent I’ve been, and the more people trust me to give as unbiased of an opinion as I can. I’m still far from perfect, but I know that if you are able to start telling the whole truth, your relationships will improve.

When your relationships improve, your life will quickly follow suit.

So go out and act with integrity. Strengthen your relationships by quitting lies of omission and telling the whole truth. Good luck.